It is these kinds of things that just confuse me. Last night we ate dinner and at dinner, Jason and I decided to go swimming with the kids afterward. As he and I cleaned up the kitchen, the kids got changed into their swim suits. 2 of our children were ready to go so I escorted them out to the pool area. The last of the small kids was done and C opened the back door for her so that she could join us. I saw see wearing her swimsuit at the time and she saw us swimming. I figured she was going to come in.
The three small kids and Daddy and I splashed and played in the pool. The water is cooling off, the pool was shaded by the house, and it was nearing time to get the small ones ready for bathes. WE had been out there 45 minutes in total. C finally came out. I was already drying off and calling a last minute warning to the little ones. She was disappointed that we were leaving. She tried to tell us to come back after the kids were bathed but that wouldn't make much sense as we shower with the younger ones and we told her that we wanted to relax in front of the tv since we hadn't seen eachother the previous night. She was SO upset.
We went in to bathe the kids and she stayed outside- telling me to shut off the radio. Then once I did it, telling me she changed her mind and to turn it on. Games. So many games. She came in about 20 minutes later with a last attempt to have us come out once the kids were cleaned. WE declined and she went outside crying, pouting, and clearly sending a message.
I honestly believe she NEEDS to control me and her father. I asked her what she was doing the whole time we were outside and she said she was playing inside. She would have no opportunity to control us if she chose to swim with us. And she would have had to share her time with the younger ones, too. She pouted for about an hour and of course came in shortly after she communicated her disgust out in the pool. After a shower and time to "cool off" she did reaclimate which is a good step for her. We didn't give it much attention and that seemed to work for this instance.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Normal Build Up
As we suspected (knew) would happen, but had hoped against, C is back in her normal cycle. After her blow up from camp, she felt bad and I do believe didn't ever want to do "that" again. She came home, earned back nearly all of her priveledges over a couple weeks time, with a few bouts of regression that were mild. But as of Thrs, I knew we were on the road to another blow up...
She came home Thrs. in quite a funk. Didn't want to talk about it but shot me dirty looks, short comments, etc. She had an appointment with B at our house which seemed to bring her out of the mood. I knew that was just temporary.
Yesterday, Friday, she had it dialed up. A few examples were at dinner she was eating with the worst manners she could muster up. I would ask her to "stop chewing with her mouth open", then she would just change to a different but equally repulsive behavior. By the end, she was taking her fork against the empty plate and scratching it to make a horrid squeeking sound. Again, asked her to stop. She held the fork up in the air and dropped it onto the porcelein plate. Her brother covered his ears and said "that too loud". Later, she brought her remote controlled boat into the pool, placed it in front the of swimming kids and told them not to touch it. She was wanting to antagonize them the way she had been me. No one is safe from it.
So today was supposed to be a church event this morning that she wanted to go to. I think it was cancelled and no one called us because we were teh ones complaining that they moved a Wed night event to Sat and they have since decided (not just because of us, but because of several families) that Wed are going to work better. Anyway, no one was there. Of course, it was my fault in her world... she begins putting her feet up on the dash and opening the glove box with her toes. Please stop. Then leaning the chair back and sliding it with rough motions. Please stop. More of the same.
I mention the in appropriate behaviors from the past couple days to her in passing and get defensiveness. I tell her she needs to find the appropriate ones...
So we decide to go to the library as a family. In the car she plays with a toy phone and holds the button down so the noise won't stop. I ask her to stop. She picks up a baby doll and makes it "cry", I warn her that she needs to stop with the senseless noises or she will be writing sentenses. She then begins making ticking noises. I tell her she will be writing sentences when she gets home... then of course, she pouts and begins with her mouth like a 4 year old. Dad pulls over the car and asks her to uncover her ears and look at him. She doesn't. He tells her she will lose a privelege if she doesn't comply. She won't look at him but puts her hands down. He tries to tell her that this is the point she needs to make a decision about how to behave going forward. That she can come out of today with no worse than sentences or she can lose her priveleges that she has earned back... silly him for thinking he could speak. He is cut off, muttered at, etc.
She goes to the library and tries to check out DVD's which we don't allow. Then we are the bad guys for her not having any books... more of the same.
She is home. Sitting at the table "not hungry" with lunch in front of her. Making paper airplanes out of her sentence paper, switching seats, trying to get up to go get her favorite pencils instead of what dad got her, and I am ignoring her but not allowing her up except for going to the bathroom. We have our other children on the opposite side of the house to keep them from the stress of it all.
No, this isn't a big blow up- Yet. It will be. She makes it so hard to enjoy her. I slept an extra 10 minutes this morning because I knew she would be gone in a car with Daddy and I wouldn't have to see her until 10am when she returned from D group at church. Sad. I want to want to be with her. I love her. I really do love her.... but honestly, I am so hurt by her so often that my guard feels like it is permanently up. She wanted to know when I wanted to finish the movie we started watching last night together and I can not answer her honestly. I say what I should as her loving mom, " We will watch it later today" but honestly, who wants to sit in a fish tank with a shark? Especially the shark that ate your right leg last week and your left pinky today?
She came home Thrs. in quite a funk. Didn't want to talk about it but shot me dirty looks, short comments, etc. She had an appointment with B at our house which seemed to bring her out of the mood. I knew that was just temporary.
Yesterday, Friday, she had it dialed up. A few examples were at dinner she was eating with the worst manners she could muster up. I would ask her to "stop chewing with her mouth open", then she would just change to a different but equally repulsive behavior. By the end, she was taking her fork against the empty plate and scratching it to make a horrid squeeking sound. Again, asked her to stop. She held the fork up in the air and dropped it onto the porcelein plate. Her brother covered his ears and said "that too loud". Later, she brought her remote controlled boat into the pool, placed it in front the of swimming kids and told them not to touch it. She was wanting to antagonize them the way she had been me. No one is safe from it.
So today was supposed to be a church event this morning that she wanted to go to. I think it was cancelled and no one called us because we were teh ones complaining that they moved a Wed night event to Sat and they have since decided (not just because of us, but because of several families) that Wed are going to work better. Anyway, no one was there. Of course, it was my fault in her world... she begins putting her feet up on the dash and opening the glove box with her toes. Please stop. Then leaning the chair back and sliding it with rough motions. Please stop. More of the same.
I mention the in appropriate behaviors from the past couple days to her in passing and get defensiveness. I tell her she needs to find the appropriate ones...
So we decide to go to the library as a family. In the car she plays with a toy phone and holds the button down so the noise won't stop. I ask her to stop. She picks up a baby doll and makes it "cry", I warn her that she needs to stop with the senseless noises or she will be writing sentenses. She then begins making ticking noises. I tell her she will be writing sentences when she gets home... then of course, she pouts and begins with her mouth like a 4 year old. Dad pulls over the car and asks her to uncover her ears and look at him. She doesn't. He tells her she will lose a privelege if she doesn't comply. She won't look at him but puts her hands down. He tries to tell her that this is the point she needs to make a decision about how to behave going forward. That she can come out of today with no worse than sentences or she can lose her priveleges that she has earned back... silly him for thinking he could speak. He is cut off, muttered at, etc.
She goes to the library and tries to check out DVD's which we don't allow. Then we are the bad guys for her not having any books... more of the same.
She is home. Sitting at the table "not hungry" with lunch in front of her. Making paper airplanes out of her sentence paper, switching seats, trying to get up to go get her favorite pencils instead of what dad got her, and I am ignoring her but not allowing her up except for going to the bathroom. We have our other children on the opposite side of the house to keep them from the stress of it all.
No, this isn't a big blow up- Yet. It will be. She makes it so hard to enjoy her. I slept an extra 10 minutes this morning because I knew she would be gone in a car with Daddy and I wouldn't have to see her until 10am when she returned from D group at church. Sad. I want to want to be with her. I love her. I really do love her.... but honestly, I am so hurt by her so often that my guard feels like it is permanently up. She wanted to know when I wanted to finish the movie we started watching last night together and I can not answer her honestly. I say what I should as her loving mom, " We will watch it later today" but honestly, who wants to sit in a fish tank with a shark? Especially the shark that ate your right leg last week and your left pinky today?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Don't Know What to Do
I know I haven't posted in a while. It isn't because life hasn't been happening, rather I just haven't had the energy between kids, the move, fighting for variances, dealing with birth families, etc. I just am out of energy at the end of the day and with summer have no private time during the day AT ALL! So... it has been a while.
We are at family camp in California right now. The theme is New Beginnings which is ironic in so many ways and yet inspiring in others. Anyway, it isn't going well... started rough and by today, I am in tears and as broken as a mom can be. I am surrounded by mentally retarded, autistic, CP kids that all behave better than my 12 year old... and the wool is pulled over most of the eyes around us. Those that see the "true colors" have tried to comfort me and tell me it is "typical teen stuff"... if they only knew.
I love her dearly. Her Dad and I have decided to strip away all, and we mean all, of her priveledges when we get home. This means no tv, computer, phone, gymnastics, school clothes shopping, church camp, etc... starting with square one. If I thought this would actually work, I would be more excited about it. I honestly don't think anything will work. Do you know what set her off? She didn't pack enough shorts so was upset about one being in the dirty laundry. She complained about the time I woke her up, etc, etc... after lunch she asked if she could swim with "friends" and we told her that we were going to go kill time before building bird houses and then she could go... that pushed her right over the edge for the second or third time since we have been here. She "hates" us, is going to tell Beth, told a worker here that she doesn't even want to call us mom or dad (poor her) and refused to comply with not beating the walls when others were trying to nap. Then she started hitting herself in front of us, for attention and pitty. I told her I was concerned and that she would need the nurse to come and evaluate her and that she would need to tell the nurse how much pain she was in because we said she couldn't swim right then... said it real nice and she, for only a moment, thought wiser of it and decided to stop. But the attitude is unchanged...
She heard me crying and now is sweet as sugar. I am sure she now feels bad but she got what I think she wanted- me totally hurt and broken. She was going to stop at nothing until she got it. How do I keep doing this? How come nothing we have tried seems to help this cycle? She does great and then just turns SO NASTY. Is there anything that will help her short of a miracle from the Lord? How do I protect myself in this and my other three children??
Just so we are clear, we are likely not doing vacations with her for a long while. This is just not worth it... don't know how we will manage vacations going forward. Not really fair to the other three for them not to get to come and all the kids to have to stay with Nana. Not really fair to us to cancel all vacations... I think we should leave her with Nana and go as normal. Your thoughts?? This is the second vacation in a row like this and we were told in the car "that she never gets to go anywhere fun".
Any and all help welcome.
We are at family camp in California right now. The theme is New Beginnings which is ironic in so many ways and yet inspiring in others. Anyway, it isn't going well... started rough and by today, I am in tears and as broken as a mom can be. I am surrounded by mentally retarded, autistic, CP kids that all behave better than my 12 year old... and the wool is pulled over most of the eyes around us. Those that see the "true colors" have tried to comfort me and tell me it is "typical teen stuff"... if they only knew.
I love her dearly. Her Dad and I have decided to strip away all, and we mean all, of her priveledges when we get home. This means no tv, computer, phone, gymnastics, school clothes shopping, church camp, etc... starting with square one. If I thought this would actually work, I would be more excited about it. I honestly don't think anything will work. Do you know what set her off? She didn't pack enough shorts so was upset about one being in the dirty laundry. She complained about the time I woke her up, etc, etc... after lunch she asked if she could swim with "friends" and we told her that we were going to go kill time before building bird houses and then she could go... that pushed her right over the edge for the second or third time since we have been here. She "hates" us, is going to tell Beth, told a worker here that she doesn't even want to call us mom or dad (poor her) and refused to comply with not beating the walls when others were trying to nap. Then she started hitting herself in front of us, for attention and pitty. I told her I was concerned and that she would need the nurse to come and evaluate her and that she would need to tell the nurse how much pain she was in because we said she couldn't swim right then... said it real nice and she, for only a moment, thought wiser of it and decided to stop. But the attitude is unchanged...
She heard me crying and now is sweet as sugar. I am sure she now feels bad but she got what I think she wanted- me totally hurt and broken. She was going to stop at nothing until she got it. How do I keep doing this? How come nothing we have tried seems to help this cycle? She does great and then just turns SO NASTY. Is there anything that will help her short of a miracle from the Lord? How do I protect myself in this and my other three children??
Just so we are clear, we are likely not doing vacations with her for a long while. This is just not worth it... don't know how we will manage vacations going forward. Not really fair to the other three for them not to get to come and all the kids to have to stay with Nana. Not really fair to us to cancel all vacations... I think we should leave her with Nana and go as normal. Your thoughts?? This is the second vacation in a row like this and we were told in the car "that she never gets to go anywhere fun".
Any and all help welcome.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
What is going on?
So, on Friday evening we told C about the fact that Aunt and Uncle had decided that it would be best for her to stay here as she wanted. We were very clear in saying that the first step in getting adopted has happened, but that the courts have to decide if we are the best home and that they may look for family first. I have told her that G'ma has said she could stay and Aunt and Uncle have said that, but the courts have the final say. She was SO OVERJOYED. It was awesome. Again, she was mostly unwilling to hear the part about possibly not staying, stating later that night in her prayers that it was a 99.9% chance. The things she hears sometimes!
Anyway, we took her to a movie at church on Saturday morning and a friend from her group invited her to spend the night and to just leave church and start the day with them. We agreed to it and she went to spend the day and night with one of her 2 best friends. We would pick her up as we always do after first service at church so that she could help teach the 4 year old class with Daddy and I.
I picked up a pretty angry daughter. She said she had fun. She rubbed it in my face that her friend's mom makes home made scones and home made icecream and I don't. She was very ANGRY. We let it go at church but by the time we were walking to the car, I had to confront her. I told her that her attitude was entirely unacceptable. In the car, she was goating and rude to the babies. Again, I had to stop her and suggested she go to her room and get her family face on when she came out.
I made lunch while she listened to the radio in her room. When I told Dad the specifics of her behavior, he went up to see if she wanted to talk it through. She didn't. She said "Things are NEVER ok." THat was all she would say. She chose not to come down for lunch. I went up and told her it was hard to understand how she could be so angry at me when the last we spoke we were talkign about going to Disneyland and her being adopted. She had nothing to say. I asked her if she was ready to be with the family. She wasn't. I moved her onto the green couch with a journal and told her when she was ready, she can get off.
I can not figure it out. I know she is tired, but this isn't just tired. This is mean, hurtful, angry behavior. Is it that she was with her friend and now misses her sister more? Is she processing the finality of adoption? Is she comparing us to the other family and seeing that we aren't perfect? It sucks. Whatever it is, it sucks. I told her that it makes me not want to let her spend the night if this is the way I will be treated afterwards.
We will see how long she stays there. Sh eis one strong willed child. I think it will be most of the afternoon, just to make a point. I don't know what else to do. I will not be offering her any more food until dinner. If she choses not to participate, that is her choice but I will not be re-fixing any meals or rewarding the behavior with snacks.
Anyway, we took her to a movie at church on Saturday morning and a friend from her group invited her to spend the night and to just leave church and start the day with them. We agreed to it and she went to spend the day and night with one of her 2 best friends. We would pick her up as we always do after first service at church so that she could help teach the 4 year old class with Daddy and I.
I picked up a pretty angry daughter. She said she had fun. She rubbed it in my face that her friend's mom makes home made scones and home made icecream and I don't. She was very ANGRY. We let it go at church but by the time we were walking to the car, I had to confront her. I told her that her attitude was entirely unacceptable. In the car, she was goating and rude to the babies. Again, I had to stop her and suggested she go to her room and get her family face on when she came out.
I made lunch while she listened to the radio in her room. When I told Dad the specifics of her behavior, he went up to see if she wanted to talk it through. She didn't. She said "Things are NEVER ok." THat was all she would say. She chose not to come down for lunch. I went up and told her it was hard to understand how she could be so angry at me when the last we spoke we were talkign about going to Disneyland and her being adopted. She had nothing to say. I asked her if she was ready to be with the family. She wasn't. I moved her onto the green couch with a journal and told her when she was ready, she can get off.
I can not figure it out. I know she is tired, but this isn't just tired. This is mean, hurtful, angry behavior. Is it that she was with her friend and now misses her sister more? Is she processing the finality of adoption? Is she comparing us to the other family and seeing that we aren't perfect? It sucks. Whatever it is, it sucks. I told her that it makes me not want to let her spend the night if this is the way I will be treated afterwards.
We will see how long she stays there. Sh eis one strong willed child. I think it will be most of the afternoon, just to make a point. I don't know what else to do. I will not be offering her any more food until dinner. If she choses not to participate, that is her choice but I will not be re-fixing any meals or rewarding the behavior with snacks.
Monday, February 2, 2009
OMG Part 2
So this Saturday we have a meeting with bio grandma and a different aunt. It is set at a park near their home which is no where near ours. I make a potatoe salad the night before and get melons, soda, juice, pretzels and hotdogs so we can Q it up and enjoy some extended time there.
We are to meet at 11:30. We left a message on G'ma's phone on Thrs and then again on Friday. No returned calls. WE were nervous as to if they were coming. Well, let's just say that at 12:30, J calls G'ma's phone and she ANSWERS. She said she lost our numbers, didn't check her machines, was there the week before waiting for us and that she would stop what she was doing and come. By 2:20, they were not there. My tots had pink cheeks and were SO ready for naps. We loaded up one upset C and headed out the parking lot... only to have C leap up in the back seat as she spots G'ma and Aunt pulling up in their car. J cast me a look like, " NOW WHAT??". We turned around and J drove around and occupied the tots in the car for the next 1.5 hours while me and C did a shorter version of a visit. C was SO elated to see them. They took jewelry off of their necks and things off their key rings to give her. It was... crazy. I was tolerant. I was exhausted. I had plans to do laundry and get ready for the Super Bowl party the next day but C was so let down so it all got put aside. And then, through it all, Dad and I were the bad guys for making the visit end after 1.5 hours with the tots buckled in car seats. It is funny how the bio G'ma can do no wrong. She did defend us having to leave, which I really appreciated.
Later that evening, I took C for a Blizzard. She was obviously more moody than normal, up and down with the emotions and understandably so. I asked her if "inappropriate" things were said by her grandma to her and her siblings as E had indicated a few nights prior. She told me that they were told that bio mom would get out of jail, clean up, and then go and get all the kids back and they would all live with G'ma happily ever after. She didn't understand why this was inappropriate. I explained that it was not possible because once a child is adopted, no bio mom can come and reclaim the child. Adoptions are forever, and forever, the adopted child will have 2 moms. She was upset. A and D, the sibs, have been told this same lie. They are all "counting" on this lie to come true. What kid doesn't want their bio mom to love them SO MUCH that they give up all they know to just love and take care of the kids?? Of course. But to be told it could happen is a totally different thing.
As she cried, we talked. She said that she didn't really want to live with her bio mom. She wants to live with us but be able to spend the weekends there sometimes. With her mom now getting close to being released, I felt I should confront this "dream." I told her it could not happen and why. I explained that we are entrusted to keep C safe and that her mom has a history that is unsafe. So then she asked if she could spend the night with bio G'ma. It was the same answer. She cried as I held her and she asked why God didn't bring us together through happy times instead of these bad ones? Of course, I had no answer. Poor kid.
Later that night, she seemed to be much better. She had released the emotions. I asked her if she still wanted to be adopted by us and she informed me that it was just a stupid question. She does.
The meeting with Aunt E was very revealing on the dealings with bio G'ma and the history there. I did softly confront G'ma on some of it and got really sketchy behaviors from her. She was defensive without being attacked. SHe just "doesn't know what she did wrong". I can't believe that. What is it about people not willing to take ownership? She blames AUnt E for everything saying C was in a prison but when C was turned over to Aunt E in second grade, C was vomitting from the stress created through all the moves and uncertainty and violence and drugs that she had experienced. Yet all of C's issues are on AUnt E?? Why do they even bother with the blame game??
Anyway, adoption of a child is adoption of a whole set of new relatives, really. So it is REALLY interesting when they are so unrelatable in many ways but hold such value to a little girl.
J, behaviorist, want to shoot me an email on how I should be dealing with the fact that bio mom is getting out in a few months?? C desperately wants to see her. She is aware that she will NEVER be left alone with her while she lives under our roof and why. Should we allow her to see her or not?? How do we prepare her either way??
We are to meet at 11:30. We left a message on G'ma's phone on Thrs and then again on Friday. No returned calls. WE were nervous as to if they were coming. Well, let's just say that at 12:30, J calls G'ma's phone and she ANSWERS. She said she lost our numbers, didn't check her machines, was there the week before waiting for us and that she would stop what she was doing and come. By 2:20, they were not there. My tots had pink cheeks and were SO ready for naps. We loaded up one upset C and headed out the parking lot... only to have C leap up in the back seat as she spots G'ma and Aunt pulling up in their car. J cast me a look like, " NOW WHAT??". We turned around and J drove around and occupied the tots in the car for the next 1.5 hours while me and C did a shorter version of a visit. C was SO elated to see them. They took jewelry off of their necks and things off their key rings to give her. It was... crazy. I was tolerant. I was exhausted. I had plans to do laundry and get ready for the Super Bowl party the next day but C was so let down so it all got put aside. And then, through it all, Dad and I were the bad guys for making the visit end after 1.5 hours with the tots buckled in car seats. It is funny how the bio G'ma can do no wrong. She did defend us having to leave, which I really appreciated.
Later that evening, I took C for a Blizzard. She was obviously more moody than normal, up and down with the emotions and understandably so. I asked her if "inappropriate" things were said by her grandma to her and her siblings as E had indicated a few nights prior. She told me that they were told that bio mom would get out of jail, clean up, and then go and get all the kids back and they would all live with G'ma happily ever after. She didn't understand why this was inappropriate. I explained that it was not possible because once a child is adopted, no bio mom can come and reclaim the child. Adoptions are forever, and forever, the adopted child will have 2 moms. She was upset. A and D, the sibs, have been told this same lie. They are all "counting" on this lie to come true. What kid doesn't want their bio mom to love them SO MUCH that they give up all they know to just love and take care of the kids?? Of course. But to be told it could happen is a totally different thing.
As she cried, we talked. She said that she didn't really want to live with her bio mom. She wants to live with us but be able to spend the weekends there sometimes. With her mom now getting close to being released, I felt I should confront this "dream." I told her it could not happen and why. I explained that we are entrusted to keep C safe and that her mom has a history that is unsafe. So then she asked if she could spend the night with bio G'ma. It was the same answer. She cried as I held her and she asked why God didn't bring us together through happy times instead of these bad ones? Of course, I had no answer. Poor kid.
Later that night, she seemed to be much better. She had released the emotions. I asked her if she still wanted to be adopted by us and she informed me that it was just a stupid question. She does.
The meeting with Aunt E was very revealing on the dealings with bio G'ma and the history there. I did softly confront G'ma on some of it and got really sketchy behaviors from her. She was defensive without being attacked. SHe just "doesn't know what she did wrong". I can't believe that. What is it about people not willing to take ownership? She blames AUnt E for everything saying C was in a prison but when C was turned over to Aunt E in second grade, C was vomitting from the stress created through all the moves and uncertainty and violence and drugs that she had experienced. Yet all of C's issues are on AUnt E?? Why do they even bother with the blame game??
Anyway, adoption of a child is adoption of a whole set of new relatives, really. So it is REALLY interesting when they are so unrelatable in many ways but hold such value to a little girl.
J, behaviorist, want to shoot me an email on how I should be dealing with the fact that bio mom is getting out in a few months?? C desperately wants to see her. She is aware that she will NEVER be left alone with her while she lives under our roof and why. Should we allow her to see her or not?? How do we prepare her either way??
OMG Part 1
So we did have our meeting with Aunt and Uncle. They invited us into their home and made every effort to make us comfortable. The house was as clean as I think it may ever get, all dogs outside, and the front door open to air out the smoke. They had made their decision the night of the meeting at T Stone. They just needed some information about how we viewed a few things to confirm their decision. We were NOT asked about visitation going forward or asked ANYTHING of. It was surprising. Rather, E said that she had more people sticking her nose in the way she parented and that she promised to not do that for C. She wants us to adopt C!!!! So does Uncle. We told them that healing needs to happen for C and that we hope that taking her permanency off the table will allow C to feel comfortable in seeing the whole family in fun and healthy ways. We would like to do BBQ's at the park and things like that. We actually feel like we could have a somewhat healthy relationship here, going forward.
Of course, the problem now becomes the logistics. I do believe Aunt and Uncle will hold to their word. They called CPS on Friday and again today to ask for the papers to be drawn. CPS has not called back. We will not be telling C about any of this until that paper is signed and we know how CPS is going to proceed. Will they be recommending to the courts that she be adopted by us? Will they be seeking relative placement first?? We want to have answers to the many questions both we and C has on these issues. We are eager to proceed, as is AUnt and Uncle. PRAISE GOD!
Of course, the problem now becomes the logistics. I do believe Aunt and Uncle will hold to their word. They called CPS on Friday and again today to ask for the papers to be drawn. CPS has not called back. We will not be telling C about any of this until that paper is signed and we know how CPS is going to proceed. Will they be recommending to the courts that she be adopted by us? Will they be seeking relative placement first?? We want to have answers to the many questions both we and C has on these issues. We are eager to proceed, as is AUnt and Uncle. PRAISE GOD!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Meeting with Aunt and Uncle, TONIGHT
CPS has allowed J and I to meet with Aunt and Uncle tonight. We are going to their house under the pretenses, according to the discussion when the invitation was made, that they are strongly considering consenting for their rights to be removed. I am nervous. The tone on the phone call was very calm, defeated, and matter of fact. I do feel bad for them. They try and they care, but they don't know what they just don't know. They are limited by their own experiences and hardened to compromise or further learning in the family structure route. Anyway, we plan to meet them with love and understanding regardless of the outcome or their true intent. I know that E said that G was tired and that this stress was litterally killing him. I think they are looking for a resolution in which they could again see C and get this over with sooner rather than later. I do think some closure here would lead to great growth for C as well. I will let you all know how it goes no later than tomorrow. If you are a believer, please hold us all up in your prayers as we embark on this "journey". We want to really meet them where they are at, without judgement or false pretenses.
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