I knew that breaking the news of more medication would not go well. It didn't. She cried and cried as her breakfast sat in front of her with her vitamins and medication. She kept repeating that she hated school and that they were so mean. The issue of not having friends was brought up, too. Dad and I held her as she cried and tried to reassure her. She had heard it all before and wasn't too interested in hearing it again.
I did get a little breakfast into her before she left for school. Dad offered to drive her since she really did need some time to get back to "normal" before seeing her peers and he was going that way anyway. That seemed to make her happier. She did willingly take all the medication, despite the crying and venting. That showed me some maturity has taken place in the past 4 months. She didn't make me bring out any consequences to just do what was asked even when it wasn't what she wanted. WAY TO GO, C!!!
It will be interesting to hear what the teachers say about behavior today since she is angry at them for saying she is having a hard time focusing in class. Hopefully nothing. She is respectful to others, usually. And then in the coming weeks, we will see if this helps with focus. I am concerned that at some point, we will just have to accept that there is no "perfect" medicine and work with where we are at. I guess we will see.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
School is Hard
We are back and settled back into our routine. Things have been good and we have had a lot of events (such as Cole's birthday and my niece's birthday) to keep us busy and distracted.
I emailed Mrs. M today, C's home room teacher. I had emailed her on Sunday to clarify the homework and got quite a response back. It seems as though C is just really having a hard time focusing on tasks at school. Here at home, too... I had hoped we were doing better since the weekly report looked a bit better. Turns out that C just has a hard time even focusing to begin a difficult task. 15-20 minutes into a class she is finally tuned in and ready to work but at that point, the class is nearing an end and she is about to switch to another class.
I have asked Mrs. M for personal advise, as if she was C's mom. What would she do? I just am at a complete loss as to what to do. I do think the ADHD is better under control but not all the way under control. I intend to increase the 5mg med tomorrow morning which I know will result in a crying and pouting session, complete with pounding fists and a lot of anger. She doesn't want these meds and I don't blame her. I want her to be "normal", too. But wanting it doesn't get it.
Anyway, I asked what she thought about private, public, and home school for a child in this situation. I have not heard back on this. I am really wanting this testing to be done on her and the results to be back. I do not believe for one minute that what she is doing for her education is what is best for her. I don't know what is. I don't have any solution. I just know this isn't working. She came home from school today with a turkey made of her hand that she made during lunch while helping in a kindergarten class. She made it for me and I love it, but it just breaks my heart. The academics are the start of the problem, but only the start.
I want to help her. I want to do what is truly right by her. I have expressed my concerns but have heard no solutions. To every option I can muster, I see pros and cons. I know what she says she wants. She doesn't even know I am considering other options but voices her desires anyway. I just don't know that SHE knows what she is really asking for. She is so desperate to belong that I truly worry about next year. If she was put in a situation with peer pressure toward sex or drugs, I truly feel she would be likely to do it. Just like she did with the detention issue at school. She just wants to belong.
Her teachers say she is immature. Her progress report came back all C's, one D, and one F. Perhaps holding her back a year is the answer. Perhaps not. Yes, she has friends at church but none of you would call them "normal" friends. They aren't socially adept in any way. And I know that if C had other options, she would drop them like a hot cake but the fact that they like her makes them everything she needs right now. And they are good influences so I don't mind. They make her happy and feel like she belongs and I praise God for the role they have in her life and also pray that she never uses them to fill her needs without considering their needs, which I feel often happens.
Anyway... more confusion. No more answers.
I emailed Mrs. M today, C's home room teacher. I had emailed her on Sunday to clarify the homework and got quite a response back. It seems as though C is just really having a hard time focusing on tasks at school. Here at home, too... I had hoped we were doing better since the weekly report looked a bit better. Turns out that C just has a hard time even focusing to begin a difficult task. 15-20 minutes into a class she is finally tuned in and ready to work but at that point, the class is nearing an end and she is about to switch to another class.
I have asked Mrs. M for personal advise, as if she was C's mom. What would she do? I just am at a complete loss as to what to do. I do think the ADHD is better under control but not all the way under control. I intend to increase the 5mg med tomorrow morning which I know will result in a crying and pouting session, complete with pounding fists and a lot of anger. She doesn't want these meds and I don't blame her. I want her to be "normal", too. But wanting it doesn't get it.
Anyway, I asked what she thought about private, public, and home school for a child in this situation. I have not heard back on this. I am really wanting this testing to be done on her and the results to be back. I do not believe for one minute that what she is doing for her education is what is best for her. I don't know what is. I don't have any solution. I just know this isn't working. She came home from school today with a turkey made of her hand that she made during lunch while helping in a kindergarten class. She made it for me and I love it, but it just breaks my heart. The academics are the start of the problem, but only the start.
I want to help her. I want to do what is truly right by her. I have expressed my concerns but have heard no solutions. To every option I can muster, I see pros and cons. I know what she says she wants. She doesn't even know I am considering other options but voices her desires anyway. I just don't know that SHE knows what she is really asking for. She is so desperate to belong that I truly worry about next year. If she was put in a situation with peer pressure toward sex or drugs, I truly feel she would be likely to do it. Just like she did with the detention issue at school. She just wants to belong.
Her teachers say she is immature. Her progress report came back all C's, one D, and one F. Perhaps holding her back a year is the answer. Perhaps not. Yes, she has friends at church but none of you would call them "normal" friends. They aren't socially adept in any way. And I know that if C had other options, she would drop them like a hot cake but the fact that they like her makes them everything she needs right now. And they are good influences so I don't mind. They make her happy and feel like she belongs and I praise God for the role they have in her life and also pray that she never uses them to fill her needs without considering their needs, which I feel often happens.
Anyway... more confusion. No more answers.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Day after ER
So she gets home from school and there was no tutoring due to the teacher being absent. Yet she fiddles around in getting started with her homework and was nearly impossible to keep on task. She was in a decent mood but was LOOKING for a fight. She put her lunch box on the counter and announced doing it. I KNEW that when I looked inside I would find her lunch in it and sure enough, I did. She wanted me to know that I could not control what she did or didn't eat. Same with her water bottle I sent. It was full.
We struggled through every problem of homework but made it most of the way through by dinner time. I had made a meatloaf and mashed potatoes with all the fixin's. She was loving the smell and asked what was for dinner. I informed her that her lunch was for dinner. Then she decides to tell me that she had a taco at school but at this point, I didn't care. She asked if she ate her lunch if she could have meatloaf and I agreed that it would be fine.
She sat down and ate her lunch. Then ate meatloaf and potatoes. Let's just say, the lunches have been eaten since that day!
She finished her homework up at 6:45. I told her she needed to take a shower because she was going to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep the night before. She was again, really upset about not getting family time. I reminded her that the whole time she was doing homework, I was prodding her to stay focused and she refused. That she didn't even sit down and start until 4:00 because she was delaying it. That was time that could have been family time. It was as if she didn't hear me and was just plain upset. She was so tired that she cried out of disappointment and exhaustion but went ahead and went to shower and bed. She was in bed by 7:30. She woke up in a much better mood the next day and things have been normal since. Her kind of normal, of course!
Two days ago she worked a solid 2.5 hours on homework without losing focus. I felt so bad for her. She had 7 assignments, none of which were make up from being gone. What is it with this school??? Is that just too much or is it just me?? When is she supposed to play and unwind with the family?? We have not had any family time until yesterday and it was becaus we cancelled our date night or we would not have had it then, either. I am SO FRUSTRATED with school. Her grades have come up a bit and she is really trying hard. I fear we are going to start heading the wrong direction again if we can't get back into a balance with her school work load.
We struggled through every problem of homework but made it most of the way through by dinner time. I had made a meatloaf and mashed potatoes with all the fixin's. She was loving the smell and asked what was for dinner. I informed her that her lunch was for dinner. Then she decides to tell me that she had a taco at school but at this point, I didn't care. She asked if she ate her lunch if she could have meatloaf and I agreed that it would be fine.
She sat down and ate her lunch. Then ate meatloaf and potatoes. Let's just say, the lunches have been eaten since that day!
She finished her homework up at 6:45. I told her she needed to take a shower because she was going to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep the night before. She was again, really upset about not getting family time. I reminded her that the whole time she was doing homework, I was prodding her to stay focused and she refused. That she didn't even sit down and start until 4:00 because she was delaying it. That was time that could have been family time. It was as if she didn't hear me and was just plain upset. She was so tired that she cried out of disappointment and exhaustion but went ahead and went to shower and bed. She was in bed by 7:30. She woke up in a much better mood the next day and things have been normal since. Her kind of normal, of course!
Two days ago she worked a solid 2.5 hours on homework without losing focus. I felt so bad for her. She had 7 assignments, none of which were make up from being gone. What is it with this school??? Is that just too much or is it just me?? When is she supposed to play and unwind with the family?? We have not had any family time until yesterday and it was becaus we cancelled our date night or we would not have had it then, either. I am SO FRUSTRATED with school. Her grades have come up a bit and she is really trying hard. I fear we are going to start heading the wrong direction again if we can't get back into a balance with her school work load.
The Night we Returned
Well, the drive home was easier than the drive there. C can not relax enough to sleep in a car so I was nervous since the fun was done and we were just headed home. I knew we had homework to tend to upon arrival and in the end, it was a long and tiring trip thus far.
On the car ride home, C mentioned that her tummy was a bit tender. I had talked to her earlier in the trip about her choosing to eat junk rather than veggies and fruits and that she would get constipated if she wasn't careful. My mistake was allowing her to make the choices but at the time, I figured we would get back to normal once we got home.
We got home and sat C down to do a bunch of homework. When she was finally done with it, she went up to shower and then was devistated that we were asking her to go to bed at her usual time. "I didn't get any family time today." I really thought that after a full weekend with us (4 day weekend) and all that time in the car, that she would be ready for some personal space. I know I was more than ready. But nope. Not my C. She was really upset. I assured her that tomorrow we would make an effort at family time once her homework was done but that for now, she needed to go to bed. I asked her to take 2 stool softeners for me to help with her bowels and we did our usual Bible time and prayers.
It was about 20 minutes later that Dad heard C crying in bed. I was so exhausted and figured that C was upset about being home as she had expressed during Bible time. She didn't want the vacation to end (who did??). Anyway, I asked Dad to go up and he agreed. He actually had been wanting to get some of that time with her so that he could connect on some of the stuff she shares when scared and such. This was different. She was crying saying her stomach hurt. Dad tried to comfort her the best a man can (sorry, men!) and came back down. 15 minutes later she was still crying so he went back up with TUMS (tried to get a placebo effect, I think!). He asked how bad the pain was and she said a 5. After 20 more minutes, I went up this time. I asked her to rub her tummy and showed her how to do it. I asked her to try and go to the bathroom which she gave very little effort. She was rocking on her bed and crying.
I asked her if she was upset about being home and she said she was but that her stomach hurt really bad. My mommy instincts told me she just didn't want to be home and wanted to be with us, not in bed. Afterall, she stayed up until midnight AZ time the night before. I told her that we would have to go to the hospital if the pain was that bad. She HATED that idea. I told her I would give her 10 minutes to get the pain rubbed out and be ready for bed and that while she was doing that, I would call the nurse line. When I came back, if she was still in bad pain, we would go to the ER.
I did. I came back in 10 minutes and she was still in "pain". I told her to change and we were going to the hospital. Boy did that make her mad.
At the ER she was crying from not wanting to be there and then once shown to her room, did great. I knew she would. I put on Disney Channel while we were waiting for the Xray and she stretched out, stopped crying, and even laughed at the tv. GRRRRRRRR!!!! I was so tired and here we were. They got her into xray after being there no more than 20 minutes and when we got back to the room, it was lights out and tv off. She forgot about her "pain" and periodically would rub her tummy but was no longer curled up or crying. When asked about her pain, she would say it hurt the same. (Does she not see how irrational that is?)
Anyway, we were there until 2 am. FUN! They did nothing for her and sent us home, telling her to drink more and eat fruits and veggies. She always refuses to drink. This is an ongoing issue for us.
Anyway, she was quite upset when I told her she needed to crawl into bed because school started in a few hours. But off to bed and when awoken in the AM, she was balling her eyes out because she was so tired. A lunch full of fiber, apple for breakfast, and water in her backpack, off she went.
On the car ride home, C mentioned that her tummy was a bit tender. I had talked to her earlier in the trip about her choosing to eat junk rather than veggies and fruits and that she would get constipated if she wasn't careful. My mistake was allowing her to make the choices but at the time, I figured we would get back to normal once we got home.
We got home and sat C down to do a bunch of homework. When she was finally done with it, she went up to shower and then was devistated that we were asking her to go to bed at her usual time. "I didn't get any family time today." I really thought that after a full weekend with us (4 day weekend) and all that time in the car, that she would be ready for some personal space. I know I was more than ready. But nope. Not my C. She was really upset. I assured her that tomorrow we would make an effort at family time once her homework was done but that for now, she needed to go to bed. I asked her to take 2 stool softeners for me to help with her bowels and we did our usual Bible time and prayers.
It was about 20 minutes later that Dad heard C crying in bed. I was so exhausted and figured that C was upset about being home as she had expressed during Bible time. She didn't want the vacation to end (who did??). Anyway, I asked Dad to go up and he agreed. He actually had been wanting to get some of that time with her so that he could connect on some of the stuff she shares when scared and such. This was different. She was crying saying her stomach hurt. Dad tried to comfort her the best a man can (sorry, men!) and came back down. 15 minutes later she was still crying so he went back up with TUMS (tried to get a placebo effect, I think!). He asked how bad the pain was and she said a 5. After 20 more minutes, I went up this time. I asked her to rub her tummy and showed her how to do it. I asked her to try and go to the bathroom which she gave very little effort. She was rocking on her bed and crying.
I asked her if she was upset about being home and she said she was but that her stomach hurt really bad. My mommy instincts told me she just didn't want to be home and wanted to be with us, not in bed. Afterall, she stayed up until midnight AZ time the night before. I told her that we would have to go to the hospital if the pain was that bad. She HATED that idea. I told her I would give her 10 minutes to get the pain rubbed out and be ready for bed and that while she was doing that, I would call the nurse line. When I came back, if she was still in bad pain, we would go to the ER.
I did. I came back in 10 minutes and she was still in "pain". I told her to change and we were going to the hospital. Boy did that make her mad.
At the ER she was crying from not wanting to be there and then once shown to her room, did great. I knew she would. I put on Disney Channel while we were waiting for the Xray and she stretched out, stopped crying, and even laughed at the tv. GRRRRRRRR!!!! I was so tired and here we were. They got her into xray after being there no more than 20 minutes and when we got back to the room, it was lights out and tv off. She forgot about her "pain" and periodically would rub her tummy but was no longer curled up or crying. When asked about her pain, she would say it hurt the same. (Does she not see how irrational that is?)
Anyway, we were there until 2 am. FUN! They did nothing for her and sent us home, telling her to drink more and eat fruits and veggies. She always refuses to drink. This is an ongoing issue for us.
Anyway, she was quite upset when I told her she needed to crawl into bed because school started in a few hours. But off to bed and when awoken in the AM, she was balling her eyes out because she was so tired. A lunch full of fiber, apple for breakfast, and water in her backpack, off she went.
Disney Vacation
Well, where to even begin. It was such an amazing trip and we feel so totally blessed to have been able to go. C was so excited that it was literally very difficult for her to contain herself. She acted excited and anxious as we packed and drove. The drive there, we had figured would be the easier of the two trips. We picked up C from school around 12:30 and headed out. I had packed each child their own backpack full of goodies from the dollar store. It actually held their attentions longer than I had expected and the first 2 hours went pretty smooth. From there on, it was a bit trickier, but still, not too bad.
C was unable to sleep in the car, claiming it was uncomfortable. She had the whole middle row except for A's car seat so had more room than any other person but she begged to differ. There was a definate attitude about this trip revolving around her and I was a bit nervous that it would continue and when it came time for rides, would have a hard time doing what the family wanted instead of what she wanted. This did prove to be partly true.
She was confused as we entered the park the next day. Main Street was not what she had expected to walk into and "Where are the rides?" was what she said. The 100 foot Christmas tree wasn't impressive to a girl who had heard about rides.
We had two great days at the park. She did have a hard time with doing things that others wanted to do and would constantly try to redirect our activities to what she wanted to do. We told her that there was enough time to do it all and WE DID! We stayed out until 11PM CA time on Sunday taking in seconds and thirds on her favorite rides which we the coasters. She was having so much fun and I don't know if or when she will ever get back so wanted to be sure she really felt like she got to do it all.
One of my friends took a foster child to Disneyland a couple years back and the girl had cried as they left the park saying "I don't want to go." When questioned about it she had stated that she would never get to come back. I feared this for C but was prepared for it. That is not what we got. We got, " It is ok. I will be back next year... well, do you think we could come back sooner or will it be next year?" She does NOT CONSIDER that she is not a permanent part of our family. She knows we go to CA twice a year for vacations and that we intend to come back... that means she would come back, too. Yet she kept saying without us putting a question or statement to her "It is ok. I will be back next year." It was like she was trying to convince herself.
I enjoyed my family, C being a part of that, SO MUCH. I feel like we are closer for the experience and that C really did have that once in a lifetime first trip that will forever be burned in her mind. I love her. She was very grateful for the trip and I was so grateful to have her be a part of it. I have so many amazing pictures of the trip but can't post them so next CFT we will have to have them out for you all to see. It was truly, truly an amazing trip.
C was unable to sleep in the car, claiming it was uncomfortable. She had the whole middle row except for A's car seat so had more room than any other person but she begged to differ. There was a definate attitude about this trip revolving around her and I was a bit nervous that it would continue and when it came time for rides, would have a hard time doing what the family wanted instead of what she wanted. This did prove to be partly true.
She was confused as we entered the park the next day. Main Street was not what she had expected to walk into and "Where are the rides?" was what she said. The 100 foot Christmas tree wasn't impressive to a girl who had heard about rides.
We had two great days at the park. She did have a hard time with doing things that others wanted to do and would constantly try to redirect our activities to what she wanted to do. We told her that there was enough time to do it all and WE DID! We stayed out until 11PM CA time on Sunday taking in seconds and thirds on her favorite rides which we the coasters. She was having so much fun and I don't know if or when she will ever get back so wanted to be sure she really felt like she got to do it all.
One of my friends took a foster child to Disneyland a couple years back and the girl had cried as they left the park saying "I don't want to go." When questioned about it she had stated that she would never get to come back. I feared this for C but was prepared for it. That is not what we got. We got, " It is ok. I will be back next year... well, do you think we could come back sooner or will it be next year?" She does NOT CONSIDER that she is not a permanent part of our family. She knows we go to CA twice a year for vacations and that we intend to come back... that means she would come back, too. Yet she kept saying without us putting a question or statement to her "It is ok. I will be back next year." It was like she was trying to convince herself.
I enjoyed my family, C being a part of that, SO MUCH. I feel like we are closer for the experience and that C really did have that once in a lifetime first trip that will forever be burned in her mind. I love her. She was very grateful for the trip and I was so grateful to have her be a part of it. I have so many amazing pictures of the trip but can't post them so next CFT we will have to have them out for you all to see. It was truly, truly an amazing trip.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veteran's Day is a Great Day, Last 2 Days Eventful
So I slept in and that always helps. We had a great day today. C's only friend got to come over and play today. they had fun and it was so good for her to feel the kind of acceptance that only a friend has to offer.
Sunday was a HARD day. It all stemmed from homework. She knows she has to do her vocab packet every weekend. Normally, it goes without incident. This day was different. She was scribbling on it, poking holes in it, and just copping a BAD attitude. The mistake I made was giving her too many warnings. I was trying to get her to turn around and start fresh because after homework, we were supposed to meet up with my son's birth family at Peter Piper. They are really nice people and wanted to get to know C better. They even had a birthday gift for her and she did want to go... but couldn't stop the behavior once it started.
In an effort to not drag on with detail, we ended up stopping the car at the local Circle K and turning around to leave me and C home while the rest of the family went. She was furious. So much so that when she was sent to her room, she threw things against the wall. I moved her to the couch with no tv and she just sobbed and sobbed. About 30 minutes later, she was ready to eat dinner and was sincerly remorseful... but WOW! When it gets ugly, it is REALLY ugly.
Yesterday, Monday, was a better day. She did come home from school is a sour mood but was able to shake it once homework was done. I asked her if she would like to call her grandma. She said she did but then opted to play and have family time, saying she missed it. I told her to manage her time to be in bed by 8 since she had a late night this weekend. At 20 til 8 she called her grandma but Aunt G answered the phone and held it hostage for half the time. Aunt G was inappropriate on the phone, talking about bio mom and letters from jail and such. I was horrified... her telling C that mom was getting out in 10 months and wanted to see her, etc, etc. I took the phone and went into the other room. I was polite but told her that these calls needed to be something C could look forward to making and not upsetting. The topic of the conversation was NOT good. She changed the subject and put Grandma on at that point. Then grandma says how she was waiting and waiting for her to call and put her on a guilt trip about not calling. C was smart and said "you can call here, too"... It is one way. C is still waiting for a shelf that Grandma promised her months ago, and pictures. At some point, if not already, C is going to see that Grandma loves her but is not reliable. I already think C feels torn about whether to call or not. I definately don't think she wants it to be more frequently, or she would ask to. Now I see why.
Anyway, so last night, C is crying in bed. I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN. C can't hear what she heard and not be upset. I was SO UPSET for her. She blamed the tears on a car accross the street but I knew better. She didn't really want to talk about it. She just needed to be held.
During the conversation, I heard more about the school that C attends. Apparently, since the fall out with her only friends at school and the detention, C now spends her lunch hour helping a kindergarten teacher with her class. She is giving up on the social aspect of school. I love how creative she was to do this and how sweet it is to help, but I really fear for her socially. Her friend from church is her only friend and she is such a sweet and opinionless, gives C whatever she wants kind of friend... C needs to learn how to give and take in friendship and to have a normal friendship. It is really hard. I looked into a charter school option today... I really need some input on this. What is best for her? If she is socially withdrawing, should I home school her? What does the state allow for kids in her situation??
CFT is in 2 days... there is a lot I am eager to get feedback on!!!
Sunday was a HARD day. It all stemmed from homework. She knows she has to do her vocab packet every weekend. Normally, it goes without incident. This day was different. She was scribbling on it, poking holes in it, and just copping a BAD attitude. The mistake I made was giving her too many warnings. I was trying to get her to turn around and start fresh because after homework, we were supposed to meet up with my son's birth family at Peter Piper. They are really nice people and wanted to get to know C better. They even had a birthday gift for her and she did want to go... but couldn't stop the behavior once it started.
In an effort to not drag on with detail, we ended up stopping the car at the local Circle K and turning around to leave me and C home while the rest of the family went. She was furious. So much so that when she was sent to her room, she threw things against the wall. I moved her to the couch with no tv and she just sobbed and sobbed. About 30 minutes later, she was ready to eat dinner and was sincerly remorseful... but WOW! When it gets ugly, it is REALLY ugly.
Yesterday, Monday, was a better day. She did come home from school is a sour mood but was able to shake it once homework was done. I asked her if she would like to call her grandma. She said she did but then opted to play and have family time, saying she missed it. I told her to manage her time to be in bed by 8 since she had a late night this weekend. At 20 til 8 she called her grandma but Aunt G answered the phone and held it hostage for half the time. Aunt G was inappropriate on the phone, talking about bio mom and letters from jail and such. I was horrified... her telling C that mom was getting out in 10 months and wanted to see her, etc, etc. I took the phone and went into the other room. I was polite but told her that these calls needed to be something C could look forward to making and not upsetting. The topic of the conversation was NOT good. She changed the subject and put Grandma on at that point. Then grandma says how she was waiting and waiting for her to call and put her on a guilt trip about not calling. C was smart and said "you can call here, too"... It is one way. C is still waiting for a shelf that Grandma promised her months ago, and pictures. At some point, if not already, C is going to see that Grandma loves her but is not reliable. I already think C feels torn about whether to call or not. I definately don't think she wants it to be more frequently, or she would ask to. Now I see why.
Anyway, so last night, C is crying in bed. I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN. C can't hear what she heard and not be upset. I was SO UPSET for her. She blamed the tears on a car accross the street but I knew better. She didn't really want to talk about it. She just needed to be held.
During the conversation, I heard more about the school that C attends. Apparently, since the fall out with her only friends at school and the detention, C now spends her lunch hour helping a kindergarten teacher with her class. She is giving up on the social aspect of school. I love how creative she was to do this and how sweet it is to help, but I really fear for her socially. Her friend from church is her only friend and she is such a sweet and opinionless, gives C whatever she wants kind of friend... C needs to learn how to give and take in friendship and to have a normal friendship. It is really hard. I looked into a charter school option today... I really need some input on this. What is best for her? If she is socially withdrawing, should I home school her? What does the state allow for kids in her situation??
CFT is in 2 days... there is a lot I am eager to get feedback on!!!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Friday night blow up
Well, as it goes, there are good days and bad. We love her regardless...
Friday was a hard day. C is not having fun at school. Academically, she is working very hard and the compromises in her work expectations have made her finally feel somewhat successful. This has become more evident. THe problem is socially. C has no real friends at school. She feels like an outcast and alone there. Because of this and the trials with her learning, she rarely comes home from school in a very good mood. Most days we can coax her back to happiness, but not always.
She came home in a seemingly indifferent mood. The usual hugs and questions about her day ensued at which time Daddy called me into our bedroom for a talk. I excused myself and while Dad was talking to me about some pretty serious stuff, I knew that C was in the other room brewing about being alone in the room. I couldn't even sit on the bed while we talked and was trying to keep it short. Dad wasn't picking up the clues and in my mind, I was playing a tug of war about why I shouldn't be allowed to have a conversation with my husband in teh middle of the day. One would think that a grown woman could break away from her child for an adult conversation without being "punished". But I knew differently and honestly, I just am tired of the "fights". So I wrapped it up as quick as I could but it was simply too late.
"You and Dad can talk at night after I am in bed." I just don't get this child. So I told her that we are adults and that we can talk whenever we need to. Then teasingly said ," You don't think that world should revolve around you, do you?" "No..." with a smile as she flung herself on the couch. She asked if she could change the channel and being a Friday, she gets a repreve from the normal homework so I agreed. "Now you have to get up the babies." She was mad because she got very little alone time and it was indeed time that I head up stairs and get up the tots. She pouted as she marched outside and forfeited her tv option.
I got up the tots as need be. Changed their pants, got their drinks, etc. and then headed out back to talk with C. She didn't want to talk and honestly, being the center of attention and controlling my actions is what she wanted so I decided to head inside and let hte boredom of her choice sink in.
After about 30 minutes she came in and was irritable but not overly inappropriate. At dinner, Daddy came down from work and was in his normal, good mood but sensed right away that I was not, nor was C. So he asked C what was going on. She snapped, "Nothing!" I told him with her in front of us why he was upset. He didn't say much in response but let an awkward silence fall on the dinner table.
We told the kids to get ready to go to Grandma's house for the night. We would be playing adult games with some company while they watched a movie. She protested. I remained calm and told her that it was not up for debate and that she could make it as fun as she chose to. That there would be snacks, movies, toys, and she could bring her new MP3 player and Tomigatchi toys with her. She pouted.
In the car she complained. I asked her to stop. She did it again. I told her it was her last warning or she would not be participating. She did it again and at that point and told her she would be bound to the back bedroom. We got there and I asked her to say hello to her grandparents and then to go to the back room. She did and then cried while in there.
30 minutes later we offered her one last shot at an attitude change and she took us up on it. She came out and was socially appropriate and actually had a really good time asking why we had to leave when we did. Once in the car, she was back to a really bad attitude.
That evening she lost three dimes from her jar due to talking back.
I often feel like I am "walking on egg shells" in our home. She is very sensitive and when she is in that mood, it really doesn't take much to set her off. Honestly, I think she "needs" to blow up in order to feel better so the sooner we draw a line in the sand and tell her we won't take any more, the sooner she blows and then can feel better again. Yet, the blow up is not healthy for us or her. The toddlers really don't get it. We feel like we can not speak firmly and honestly with her because she will make us "pay" and yet, she needs the boundaries and honesty. It makes it really hard. Not to mention my mom is really starting to wonder about her since the way she treated my mom last week on Thursday night, once when we were on vacation, and then this Friday. She sees that it is common and intense and worries for the impact it has on our tots and all of us.
I was talking with J last night about how I think if you asked her if she was being good, she would say "yes" because compared to where she was before, this is probably really good behavior. And yet, it is no where near appropriate or good. We have good days, don't get me wrong. But more days are spent dancing around her irritability and blow ups than just enjoying her for who she is. I can't wait until we get to a point where she can just relax and stop looking for a fight. Where we can all just love eachother and work to be there for one another.
Friday was a hard day. C is not having fun at school. Academically, she is working very hard and the compromises in her work expectations have made her finally feel somewhat successful. This has become more evident. THe problem is socially. C has no real friends at school. She feels like an outcast and alone there. Because of this and the trials with her learning, she rarely comes home from school in a very good mood. Most days we can coax her back to happiness, but not always.
She came home in a seemingly indifferent mood. The usual hugs and questions about her day ensued at which time Daddy called me into our bedroom for a talk. I excused myself and while Dad was talking to me about some pretty serious stuff, I knew that C was in the other room brewing about being alone in the room. I couldn't even sit on the bed while we talked and was trying to keep it short. Dad wasn't picking up the clues and in my mind, I was playing a tug of war about why I shouldn't be allowed to have a conversation with my husband in teh middle of the day. One would think that a grown woman could break away from her child for an adult conversation without being "punished". But I knew differently and honestly, I just am tired of the "fights". So I wrapped it up as quick as I could but it was simply too late.
"You and Dad can talk at night after I am in bed." I just don't get this child. So I told her that we are adults and that we can talk whenever we need to. Then teasingly said ," You don't think that world should revolve around you, do you?" "No..." with a smile as she flung herself on the couch. She asked if she could change the channel and being a Friday, she gets a repreve from the normal homework so I agreed. "Now you have to get up the babies." She was mad because she got very little alone time and it was indeed time that I head up stairs and get up the tots. She pouted as she marched outside and forfeited her tv option.
I got up the tots as need be. Changed their pants, got their drinks, etc. and then headed out back to talk with C. She didn't want to talk and honestly, being the center of attention and controlling my actions is what she wanted so I decided to head inside and let hte boredom of her choice sink in.
After about 30 minutes she came in and was irritable but not overly inappropriate. At dinner, Daddy came down from work and was in his normal, good mood but sensed right away that I was not, nor was C. So he asked C what was going on. She snapped, "Nothing!" I told him with her in front of us why he was upset. He didn't say much in response but let an awkward silence fall on the dinner table.
We told the kids to get ready to go to Grandma's house for the night. We would be playing adult games with some company while they watched a movie. She protested. I remained calm and told her that it was not up for debate and that she could make it as fun as she chose to. That there would be snacks, movies, toys, and she could bring her new MP3 player and Tomigatchi toys with her. She pouted.
In the car she complained. I asked her to stop. She did it again. I told her it was her last warning or she would not be participating. She did it again and at that point and told her she would be bound to the back bedroom. We got there and I asked her to say hello to her grandparents and then to go to the back room. She did and then cried while in there.
30 minutes later we offered her one last shot at an attitude change and she took us up on it. She came out and was socially appropriate and actually had a really good time asking why we had to leave when we did. Once in the car, she was back to a really bad attitude.
That evening she lost three dimes from her jar due to talking back.
I often feel like I am "walking on egg shells" in our home. She is very sensitive and when she is in that mood, it really doesn't take much to set her off. Honestly, I think she "needs" to blow up in order to feel better so the sooner we draw a line in the sand and tell her we won't take any more, the sooner she blows and then can feel better again. Yet, the blow up is not healthy for us or her. The toddlers really don't get it. We feel like we can not speak firmly and honestly with her because she will make us "pay" and yet, she needs the boundaries and honesty. It makes it really hard. Not to mention my mom is really starting to wonder about her since the way she treated my mom last week on Thursday night, once when we were on vacation, and then this Friday. She sees that it is common and intense and worries for the impact it has on our tots and all of us.
I was talking with J last night about how I think if you asked her if she was being good, she would say "yes" because compared to where she was before, this is probably really good behavior. And yet, it is no where near appropriate or good. We have good days, don't get me wrong. But more days are spent dancing around her irritability and blow ups than just enjoying her for who she is. I can't wait until we get to a point where she can just relax and stop looking for a fight. Where we can all just love eachother and work to be there for one another.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wed, November 5th
Well, here we are, the day after the big election. Funny how C got her head around this whole election thing. She says "Obama is a terrorist". Where do kids get this stuff?? So silly. She plead her case for why 6th graders should be allowed to vote, which was funny. It didn't make her too happy that I couldn't agree with her position.
Did I write about the other night that she couldn't sleep? It was Sunday night, after the party. I think I did... I will have to check.
Anyway, we went to get her meds changed on Monday and she was as closed as always with the doctor. We went to the nephrologist that same day. She missed virtually the whole day of school between these two appointments. The psych added a morning pill. The nephrologist took some blood and will call us. She was happy to be out of school and had little homework because of it. She actually had some free time and was able to get ahead in spelling and vocab to prepare time for make up work on Tuesday.
Tuesday was not as good of a day. She had tutoring after school and honestly, I am fed up with her doing math for an hour after school and then being expected to do another 20 minutes of it once she gets home. I signed off on the math and allowed her to move on to other subjects, however, she was in a foul mood. She never did tell me why. That evening, we went to have C's 12 year old pictures done and family pictures for Christmas. Everyone looked so pretty and I was really excited about it, despite C's negative attitude. I was surprised that the idea of the pics didn't cheer her up. She had been wanting to do them but nothing could shake whatever happened at school. She was picking fights (or trying to) the whole evening until picture time. WE took the family pictures first and at one point, the photographer asked her if she could give even a part of a smile. I was not happy to hear this as now I KNEW she was trying to gain control, make it known how unhappy she was, all by ruining the family pictures. That was the last picture as the shutter snapped adn then they were on to my son's 4 yr old pics and C's 12 year old pics. My son did great. All my tots did amazing! My 12 year old was a different story. When it came to her individual pics, she was refusing to smile and I stopped the photographer. I told C that I would not spend money on those so she would just need to stop and we would go. She said she would smile and forced a grin. I picked up my purse, told the tots to come with me and motioned to C that we were done. Suddenly she saw how serious I was and began to cooperate. Her pics turned out great and her attitude was better that point forward... but our family pics are not very good due to the attitude she had. Why she does this... not sure. It sure is often though.
Today was a decent day. She had early release adn then her detention. Dad picked her up to run an errand and then to open a bank account to keep her allowance in. She decided once the errand was run, that she didn't want to go to the bank today. She wanted to be sure to have time with me and the family before her church group tonight. So they will do that bank stuff another day. We are trying to teach her to value money. She has no idea of it right now.
This morning, C came bouncing down the stairs to announce to me that she "had the best dream". This was something to get excited about because C never remembers her dreams but she was so excited today because SHE DID. I was expecting something fable like- but it wasn't. She said that in her dream I took her out of school one day and announced to her that the courts said we were adopting her. We went home and had a huge party. She said, "It was the happiest day of my life, Mom." I hugged her and told her that it would be mine, too. I don't want to lead her on, but I have been clear about the fact she IS NOT MINE and may GO BACK, and she refuses to hear it. If she needs this hope of adoption to cope, I am not going to keep crushing the hope. I don't want to mislead, but I have not. I have been very clear. She just doesn't accept anything about going back as even a possibility. So, I hug her and cry with her and we pray together and both find comfort in our hopes to one day be a family. And if not- well, we will cross that bridge when and if we get there.
Did I write about the other night that she couldn't sleep? It was Sunday night, after the party. I think I did... I will have to check.
Anyway, we went to get her meds changed on Monday and she was as closed as always with the doctor. We went to the nephrologist that same day. She missed virtually the whole day of school between these two appointments. The psych added a morning pill. The nephrologist took some blood and will call us. She was happy to be out of school and had little homework because of it. She actually had some free time and was able to get ahead in spelling and vocab to prepare time for make up work on Tuesday.
Tuesday was not as good of a day. She had tutoring after school and honestly, I am fed up with her doing math for an hour after school and then being expected to do another 20 minutes of it once she gets home. I signed off on the math and allowed her to move on to other subjects, however, she was in a foul mood. She never did tell me why. That evening, we went to have C's 12 year old pictures done and family pictures for Christmas. Everyone looked so pretty and I was really excited about it, despite C's negative attitude. I was surprised that the idea of the pics didn't cheer her up. She had been wanting to do them but nothing could shake whatever happened at school. She was picking fights (or trying to) the whole evening until picture time. WE took the family pictures first and at one point, the photographer asked her if she could give even a part of a smile. I was not happy to hear this as now I KNEW she was trying to gain control, make it known how unhappy she was, all by ruining the family pictures. That was the last picture as the shutter snapped adn then they were on to my son's 4 yr old pics and C's 12 year old pics. My son did great. All my tots did amazing! My 12 year old was a different story. When it came to her individual pics, she was refusing to smile and I stopped the photographer. I told C that I would not spend money on those so she would just need to stop and we would go. She said she would smile and forced a grin. I picked up my purse, told the tots to come with me and motioned to C that we were done. Suddenly she saw how serious I was and began to cooperate. Her pics turned out great and her attitude was better that point forward... but our family pics are not very good due to the attitude she had. Why she does this... not sure. It sure is often though.
Today was a decent day. She had early release adn then her detention. Dad picked her up to run an errand and then to open a bank account to keep her allowance in. She decided once the errand was run, that she didn't want to go to the bank today. She wanted to be sure to have time with me and the family before her church group tonight. So they will do that bank stuff another day. We are trying to teach her to value money. She has no idea of it right now.
This morning, C came bouncing down the stairs to announce to me that she "had the best dream". This was something to get excited about because C never remembers her dreams but she was so excited today because SHE DID. I was expecting something fable like- but it wasn't. She said that in her dream I took her out of school one day and announced to her that the courts said we were adopting her. We went home and had a huge party. She said, "It was the happiest day of my life, Mom." I hugged her and told her that it would be mine, too. I don't want to lead her on, but I have been clear about the fact she IS NOT MINE and may GO BACK, and she refuses to hear it. If she needs this hope of adoption to cope, I am not going to keep crushing the hope. I don't want to mislead, but I have not. I have been very clear. She just doesn't accept anything about going back as even a possibility. So, I hug her and cry with her and we pray together and both find comfort in our hopes to one day be a family. And if not- well, we will cross that bridge when and if we get there.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sunday, November 2, Party at Jen's
Well, today started rough. Our alarm clock auto sets and so with most of our region changing to daylight savings time, our clock changed all by itself. This made us miss first service at church and C was confused by the break in routine. We explained it a couple of times and told her how the morning would go, but she didn't really gain any clarity on it until we did it.
We talked with C this morning about her rude and inappropriate responses and comments lately. We have implimented the dime jar allowance techniqu that J recommended. She wasn't thrilled about us doing it and wanted to know "why so many rules" but later in the day, when she was in a better mood, she seemed ok with it all.
We went to church. She did well there. We then went to Macayo's for lunch. It was not a smooth lunch but not bad... she just has a hard time some days with finding contentment with much of anything. COmplaining just comes so easy and being happy seems so hard.
She did have some down time in the afternoon while Dad and I took in the Cardinals game (go BIG RED!! WE WON).
We then headed out as a family to a travel party for some friends adopting from Africa. She wanted to be social, but clung to me with extreme affection. It was nice in a way, and inappropriate in another way. She just needs the reassurance that I am there and with her and not leaving her. No matter how much reassurance I give her, she has to be the center of my world, and I hers. We are very close. I love her and this, but fear for the fact that she isn't developing coping skills for trusting that she can deal with things with me away.
On the drive home, she asked if I could homeschool her. Stating her frustrations with school, she plead her case. I told her that I didn't feel it would be in her best interest, but I am also frustrated with school. She isn't succeeding there. She is frustrated. Any more, I don't know if public education is what is best for her. I am hoping that the testing they are doing now will help to answer this for me and her and all of you. I do think a smaller classroom size where they don't switch classes and teachers could really benefit her. I don't think me teaching her is best because it will just feed into the co-dependancy that she already has. Nothing that has to be thought too much on at this point but interesting ideas for going forward... also depending on what happens with case plan, of course.
Tonight, C had a hard time going to bed. She came out and stated she couldn't sleep. She had been doing much better so I let her have Coke at the party today. My mistake. That won't happen again. Poor kid. Anyway, we talked about her fears some tonight. We also had our first honest talk about her ADHD. She stated that she just wants to be normal. I told her that one day she may outgrow it but for now, we needed to deal with it. We all want her feeling better and she agrees that she isn't. So we are going to both the Endocryn tomorrow and the Psychiatrist. Hoping to get answers at both. She is trying to sleep now... hopefully will get there soon. She has taken her sleeping pill as usual, but the caffeine and sugar may still be working in her to fight it off. WHY DID I DO THAT?? The party was over at 6 and I just didn't think it would still be affecting her. DUMB!
About the CFT... I know we keep saying that we are planning it so C can come. I guess I just don't know why we would want that. She is emotionally 8 years old and not really able to handle any criticism at all. She is in complete denial of her reunification case plan and I don't know what good her being at the meeting would be served. How do you all feel on this? I don't want her to feel picked on by the people who are supposed to be supporting and protecting her. Especially me. We just now had our first honest talk about ADHD... saying what the teachers have said about her symptoms in school will only make her hate school more and feel more broken. I know none of us want this. Let me know your thoughts on this.
Hope you all had a Happy Halloween.
We talked with C this morning about her rude and inappropriate responses and comments lately. We have implimented the dime jar allowance techniqu that J recommended. She wasn't thrilled about us doing it and wanted to know "why so many rules" but later in the day, when she was in a better mood, she seemed ok with it all.
We went to church. She did well there. We then went to Macayo's for lunch. It was not a smooth lunch but not bad... she just has a hard time some days with finding contentment with much of anything. COmplaining just comes so easy and being happy seems so hard.
She did have some down time in the afternoon while Dad and I took in the Cardinals game (go BIG RED!! WE WON).
We then headed out as a family to a travel party for some friends adopting from Africa. She wanted to be social, but clung to me with extreme affection. It was nice in a way, and inappropriate in another way. She just needs the reassurance that I am there and with her and not leaving her. No matter how much reassurance I give her, she has to be the center of my world, and I hers. We are very close. I love her and this, but fear for the fact that she isn't developing coping skills for trusting that she can deal with things with me away.
On the drive home, she asked if I could homeschool her. Stating her frustrations with school, she plead her case. I told her that I didn't feel it would be in her best interest, but I am also frustrated with school. She isn't succeeding there. She is frustrated. Any more, I don't know if public education is what is best for her. I am hoping that the testing they are doing now will help to answer this for me and her and all of you. I do think a smaller classroom size where they don't switch classes and teachers could really benefit her. I don't think me teaching her is best because it will just feed into the co-dependancy that she already has. Nothing that has to be thought too much on at this point but interesting ideas for going forward... also depending on what happens with case plan, of course.
Tonight, C had a hard time going to bed. She came out and stated she couldn't sleep. She had been doing much better so I let her have Coke at the party today. My mistake. That won't happen again. Poor kid. Anyway, we talked about her fears some tonight. We also had our first honest talk about her ADHD. She stated that she just wants to be normal. I told her that one day she may outgrow it but for now, we needed to deal with it. We all want her feeling better and she agrees that she isn't. So we are going to both the Endocryn tomorrow and the Psychiatrist. Hoping to get answers at both. She is trying to sleep now... hopefully will get there soon. She has taken her sleeping pill as usual, but the caffeine and sugar may still be working in her to fight it off. WHY DID I DO THAT?? The party was over at 6 and I just didn't think it would still be affecting her. DUMB!
About the CFT... I know we keep saying that we are planning it so C can come. I guess I just don't know why we would want that. She is emotionally 8 years old and not really able to handle any criticism at all. She is in complete denial of her reunification case plan and I don't know what good her being at the meeting would be served. How do you all feel on this? I don't want her to feel picked on by the people who are supposed to be supporting and protecting her. Especially me. We just now had our first honest talk about ADHD... saying what the teachers have said about her symptoms in school will only make her hate school more and feel more broken. I know none of us want this. Let me know your thoughts on this.
Hope you all had a Happy Halloween.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Update on School
I just wanted to let everyone know that I met with the teachers, Spec Ed teacher, Psych, and one other lady at school yesterday and they are officially starting the testing process to determine where the difficulties with school lye and how we can best address them. I was mistaken in thinking the process would be quick. I have been informed that we will know more as we head into winter recess. She is being tested in her IQ, reading, math, writing, socially, PT and OT. The PT and OT are due to her irratic movements while walking and sitting. I will be addressing these same movements further with the doctor on Monday. One teacher commented "I have never seen anything quite like it. She can't even walk straight." It is a serious issue for this young lady. She is constantly running into walls even. I don't know that it is an ADD issue, but perhaps neurological??? Any thoughts on this, team??
Sat, Nov 1st
Today was the day C was supposed to spend restricted to her room as a consequence for the trouble she got into at school. In speaking with the school further, we decided to allow her to write an appology letter stating everyone she should be sorry to for the event and to allow her out at noon. Her spelling was to be done, her room clean, and the letter written. It was like pulling teeth to get her on board as she wanted to debate the legistics of the letter. Finally, Dad firmly stated that it was this, or a full day restriction and she decided to do the letter instead.
She wrote a good letter, considering how difficult writing is for her. I wrote a letter as if I were her, too, knowing she would leave out a lot of people affected. When it was all said and done, we prayed and had a nice talk, agreeing that the subject is over and done. She came out of her room in a pleasant mood.
She also got invited by a church friend to go ride a REAL train today to Wickenburg. This is a licensed foster family that invited her and I was sure it would be a fun and safe event so she is out with a GOOD friend, as opposed to the ones she has found at school. I sent her with some Halloween candy to share and am praying she has a great time and connects further with this friend. I am also praying for the happy and wonderful C that we all love to be the one on the train ride for the adults' sake!
She wrote a good letter, considering how difficult writing is for her. I wrote a letter as if I were her, too, knowing she would leave out a lot of people affected. When it was all said and done, we prayed and had a nice talk, agreeing that the subject is over and done. She came out of her room in a pleasant mood.
She also got invited by a church friend to go ride a REAL train today to Wickenburg. This is a licensed foster family that invited her and I was sure it would be a fun and safe event so she is out with a GOOD friend, as opposed to the ones she has found at school. I sent her with some Halloween candy to share and am praying she has a great time and connects further with this friend. I am also praying for the happy and wonderful C that we all love to be the one on the train ride for the adults' sake!
Halloween
C was a midnight fairy. She came home from school is a good mood and ready to have a nice evening... was excited to put on her costume. The problem came when the new case manager came and asked to speak to me alone, upstairs.
When the worker and I were finished talking, C was short with the worker and clearly irritated. Once the worker left, she was even worse, snapping at me and the kids. I got in front of her, made clear eye contact, and asked what was wrong. She told me she was upset that she was down stairs by herself and then the babies came down and touched her things. All I could do was appologize that the situation happened, and ask if we could move on. For a moment, things were fine. She was reinvigorated about trying on her costume and having me do her eye makeup.
We got everyone together and loaded up the car. We first went to a church carnival and then to trick-or-treat in Grandma's neighborhood, followed by a trip to the immediate neighbors in our cul de sac.
Her attitude went sour the minute we hit the car. She was complaining that we weren't going to any garage haunted houses. As if we knew where they were and would just change our plans to do it. Once at the church, she was very controlling and self centered. We had met my two neices and their mom there, which C loves. But she didn't want to stay with the group and we had to work to keep her content while still trying to have fun as a group. There was a lack of gratitude and a lot of complaining. It wore on me, and I stayed patient as I tried to get her in line.
By the time we got to Grandma's, she was in rare form. I finally pulled her aside and said that she either needed to get in with the group or go wait in the car. That the attitude needed to stop. "I don't have an attitude!" Yeah right!
We headed home with 4 tired kids and 2 wore out parents. It was fun for the little ones. They were oblivious to the struggles, but I don't think C really had fun by her own chosing. Sad choice.
When the worker and I were finished talking, C was short with the worker and clearly irritated. Once the worker left, she was even worse, snapping at me and the kids. I got in front of her, made clear eye contact, and asked what was wrong. She told me she was upset that she was down stairs by herself and then the babies came down and touched her things. All I could do was appologize that the situation happened, and ask if we could move on. For a moment, things were fine. She was reinvigorated about trying on her costume and having me do her eye makeup.
We got everyone together and loaded up the car. We first went to a church carnival and then to trick-or-treat in Grandma's neighborhood, followed by a trip to the immediate neighbors in our cul de sac.
Her attitude went sour the minute we hit the car. She was complaining that we weren't going to any garage haunted houses. As if we knew where they were and would just change our plans to do it. Once at the church, she was very controlling and self centered. We had met my two neices and their mom there, which C loves. But she didn't want to stay with the group and we had to work to keep her content while still trying to have fun as a group. There was a lack of gratitude and a lot of complaining. It wore on me, and I stayed patient as I tried to get her in line.
By the time we got to Grandma's, she was in rare form. I finally pulled her aside and said that she either needed to get in with the group or go wait in the car. That the attitude needed to stop. "I don't have an attitude!" Yeah right!
We headed home with 4 tired kids and 2 wore out parents. It was fun for the little ones. They were oblivious to the struggles, but I don't think C really had fun by her own chosing. Sad choice.
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