Sunday, November 2, Party at Jen's

Well, today started rough. Our alarm clock auto sets and so with most of our region changing to daylight savings time, our clock changed all by itself. This made us miss first service at church and C was confused by the break in routine. We explained it a couple of times and told her how the morning would go, but she didn't really gain any clarity on it until we did it.

We talked with C this morning about her rude and inappropriate responses and comments lately. We have implimented the dime jar allowance techniqu that J recommended. She wasn't thrilled about us doing it and wanted to know "why so many rules" but later in the day, when she was in a better mood, she seemed ok with it all.

We went to church. She did well there. We then went to Macayo's for lunch. It was not a smooth lunch but not bad... she just has a hard time some days with finding contentment with much of anything. COmplaining just comes so easy and being happy seems so hard.

She did have some down time in the afternoon while Dad and I took in the Cardinals game (go BIG RED!! WE WON).

We then headed out as a family to a travel party for some friends adopting from Africa. She wanted to be social, but clung to me with extreme affection. It was nice in a way, and inappropriate in another way. She just needs the reassurance that I am there and with her and not leaving her. No matter how much reassurance I give her, she has to be the center of my world, and I hers. We are very close. I love her and this, but fear for the fact that she isn't developing coping skills for trusting that she can deal with things with me away.

On the drive home, she asked if I could homeschool her. Stating her frustrations with school, she plead her case. I told her that I didn't feel it would be in her best interest, but I am also frustrated with school. She isn't succeeding there. She is frustrated. Any more, I don't know if public education is what is best for her. I am hoping that the testing they are doing now will help to answer this for me and her and all of you. I do think a smaller classroom size where they don't switch classes and teachers could really benefit her. I don't think me teaching her is best because it will just feed into the co-dependancy that she already has. Nothing that has to be thought too much on at this point but interesting ideas for going forward... also depending on what happens with case plan, of course.

Tonight, C had a hard time going to bed. She came out and stated she couldn't sleep. She had been doing much better so I let her have Coke at the party today. My mistake. That won't happen again. Poor kid. Anyway, we talked about her fears some tonight. We also had our first honest talk about her ADHD. She stated that she just wants to be normal. I told her that one day she may outgrow it but for now, we needed to deal with it. We all want her feeling better and she agrees that she isn't. So we are going to both the Endocryn tomorrow and the Psychiatrist. Hoping to get answers at both. She is trying to sleep now... hopefully will get there soon. She has taken her sleeping pill as usual, but the caffeine and sugar may still be working in her to fight it off. WHY DID I DO THAT?? The party was over at 6 and I just didn't think it would still be affecting her. DUMB!

About the CFT... I know we keep saying that we are planning it so C can come. I guess I just don't know why we would want that. She is emotionally 8 years old and not really able to handle any criticism at all. She is in complete denial of her reunification case plan and I don't know what good her being at the meeting would be served. How do you all feel on this? I don't want her to feel picked on by the people who are supposed to be supporting and protecting her. Especially me. We just now had our first honest talk about ADHD... saying what the teachers have said about her symptoms in school will only make her hate school more and feel more broken. I know none of us want this. Let me know your thoughts on this.

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween.