So I slept in and that always helps. We had a great day today. C's only friend got to come over and play today. they had fun and it was so good for her to feel the kind of acceptance that only a friend has to offer.
Sunday was a HARD day. It all stemmed from homework. She knows she has to do her vocab packet every weekend. Normally, it goes without incident. This day was different. She was scribbling on it, poking holes in it, and just copping a BAD attitude. The mistake I made was giving her too many warnings. I was trying to get her to turn around and start fresh because after homework, we were supposed to meet up with my son's birth family at Peter Piper. They are really nice people and wanted to get to know C better. They even had a birthday gift for her and she did want to go... but couldn't stop the behavior once it started.
In an effort to not drag on with detail, we ended up stopping the car at the local Circle K and turning around to leave me and C home while the rest of the family went. She was furious. So much so that when she was sent to her room, she threw things against the wall. I moved her to the couch with no tv and she just sobbed and sobbed. About 30 minutes later, she was ready to eat dinner and was sincerly remorseful... but WOW! When it gets ugly, it is REALLY ugly.
Yesterday, Monday, was a better day. She did come home from school is a sour mood but was able to shake it once homework was done. I asked her if she would like to call her grandma. She said she did but then opted to play and have family time, saying she missed it. I told her to manage her time to be in bed by 8 since she had a late night this weekend. At 20 til 8 she called her grandma but Aunt G answered the phone and held it hostage for half the time. Aunt G was inappropriate on the phone, talking about bio mom and letters from jail and such. I was horrified... her telling C that mom was getting out in 10 months and wanted to see her, etc, etc. I took the phone and went into the other room. I was polite but told her that these calls needed to be something C could look forward to making and not upsetting. The topic of the conversation was NOT good. She changed the subject and put Grandma on at that point. Then grandma says how she was waiting and waiting for her to call and put her on a guilt trip about not calling. C was smart and said "you can call here, too"... It is one way. C is still waiting for a shelf that Grandma promised her months ago, and pictures. At some point, if not already, C is going to see that Grandma loves her but is not reliable. I already think C feels torn about whether to call or not. I definately don't think she wants it to be more frequently, or she would ask to. Now I see why.
Anyway, so last night, C is crying in bed. I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN. C can't hear what she heard and not be upset. I was SO UPSET for her. She blamed the tears on a car accross the street but I knew better. She didn't really want to talk about it. She just needed to be held.
During the conversation, I heard more about the school that C attends. Apparently, since the fall out with her only friends at school and the detention, C now spends her lunch hour helping a kindergarten teacher with her class. She is giving up on the social aspect of school. I love how creative she was to do this and how sweet it is to help, but I really fear for her socially. Her friend from church is her only friend and she is such a sweet and opinionless, gives C whatever she wants kind of friend... C needs to learn how to give and take in friendship and to have a normal friendship. It is really hard. I looked into a charter school option today... I really need some input on this. What is best for her? If she is socially withdrawing, should I home school her? What does the state allow for kids in her situation??
CFT is in 2 days... there is a lot I am eager to get feedback on!!!
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