Adoption/ Visits

Yesterday, I filled in a calendar that Mrs. D gave us. I put all of C's appointments and such for December on the calendar and left it on the counter for her when she got home from school. C began looking at it as she pulled her homework out of the backpack. When she got to the family visit next Monday, she began to cry. "I don't want to go on a MOnday. It will mean I have more homework." She stomped to her seat at the table with her spelling work in hand.

I got down on the floor to where I was knelt below her and looked up toward her head hung eyes. "C, I am not the one you need to tell this to. Who do you need to tell this to??" She knew the answer. "Ms. B." I told her that there was no such thing as a good day for these visits. I know that C would complain if we did it on Friday or Sat (Sat is NOT an option for J and I. It is our only day without a commitment and we need that day.) it would be that there is no time for family or the like. She hates that it is an interruption in her life. Last visit she did homework until 7 and I stopped her knowing she had emotions to deal with and we snuggled and talked but the homework got pushed off and she spent the next day working right up until bed time. Anyway, her complaint was about family time as much as it was about homework. Just like with Mrs. D's time, she doesn't understand that there isn't a way to "trade" the time for homework. That both have to be done.

Anyway, she was angry about it. She still is.

Then, last night, I was praying before putting the tots down and today is the first bio family visit for my girls in a year. We prayed for God's hand of protection to be on my girls and when it was all done, C asked about their case plan. I informed her that the courts have said that if the dad is not fully compliant (which he never has been), that the girls are supposed to be severed and adopted in 90 days. Tribal courts are much different that CPS for those of you that are confused by this statement. Anyway, she got all excited and said, "Great! Then we can have our adoption party for all three of us. WOuldn't that be fun?"

I told her that adoption was always in God's timing. That God knows what is best for us and that is why C is here. That if she is to be adopted, God will know the perfect time. That answer was not good enough. "Do you think that if I told my aunt that I wanted to stay here and that I am happy, she would let me be adopted?" I told her that I thought she needs to talk with her aunt and Ms. B honestly about not what she just wants, but what she has grown to understand and what is best for her. "When can I tell her?" I told her to talk with Mrs. B but at one of these visits would be the best time. I didn't know what to say... she sees a time line for the other girls and it kills her that there is no time line for her. She just KNOWS that it is going to happen and that it needs to happen SOON. She WILL NOT hear otherwise. I think she has this survival skill of believing what she needs to believe to get through.... and there is no hearing otherwise. Anyway, Ms. B she asked if she could call you or email you today to talk about these visits and about her telling her aunt to let her be adopted. I can't believe that she has this courage already. I am shocked...

WE did a science project together last night until 7 and will be working on it again until 7 tonight but if you are able to visit her at school this week or call, I know she is wanting to talk to you. She is going to be sad to hear that you can't make the visits go away or make the aunt stop pursuing her... I don't know if she will here this from you any more than she hears it from me but I know that we have given you and the GA Mr. M all the power before the courts and she is wanting to exercise your "magical powers".

I can not tell you how much maturing she has done in the last month or so... I am SO PROUD of her. I really am.