After the CFT

I just took C to her church class tonight. They were having a Christmas party so she was pretty jazzed about it. On the way there, C asked if I told Ms. B (CPS case worker) what she told me to tell her, thus referring to the fact that she wanted to be adopted and quickly. I assured her that I did. "Well what did she say??" I told her that no promises were made but the it was suggested that she write the judge and/or Mr. M a letter expressing her desires. She said with excitement that she would. I also told her about the bonding assessment the was being required. I didn't tell her what it was, only that a doctor would be asking her and them questions. She stated with confidence that she would and could tell the doctor that she doesn't want to live there and that she wants to stay here... I asked her "won't that be hard to do in front of your aunt and uncle?" She was shocked, asking, "They will be in there at the same time?!" I nodded and she began to cry stating that she HATES this. She hates the doctor and that she didn't want to go. I assured her that the doctor would not ask really hard questions and that it wasn't even on the calendar yet. I don't know... maybe I shouldn't have told her about it yet. Once she was calm I asked her if she thought that when she told me, Ms. B, Ms. D, Ms. B, Ms. A about her desire to stay here if she thought that her aunt would already hear it and know. She stated that she did think her aunt heard. I told her at some point her aunt should here it from her. She got a great idea and stated "I could write her a letter and Ms. B (psychologist) could give it to her". I told her that was a great idea! She quickly realized that her aunt would make her talk about it at a family visit and started to think it was a bad idea. I then reminded her that Ms. B would already know what was in the letter and that Ms. B would make sure that the aunt did not yell or get inappropriate with her in any way. She said " Ms. B is the best. I love Ms. B" (No folks, I am not making this up.) I told her that Ms. B had said today that there would be no more yelling in the visits and she made a fist and pulled it to her saying " Yes!!! Go, Ms. B!" So I guess that even though she is used to the yelling and "mean aunt", she doesn't like it and is pleased to hear that it will be stopped. C has NO IDEA that there may be in a change in therapists in the future. I have chosen not to tell her, knowing how upsetting it will be to have uncertainty in this role.

Anyway, I told her she did not have to write any letters and that it was up to her. She stated that she wanted to. We will see if she does it. She was in good spirits by the time we arrived at church. She got invited to her best friend's sleep over birthday party on Friday. We have a visit with Grandma that day so we will have to do some working to make it happen. YEAH!!!! Social stuff!!! YEAH!!! Oh yeh, I told her that she would get to start seeing her brother and sister without her aunt and uncle and she was SUPER happy about that. She asked if I would be there and was thrilled to hear that I would be. She also asked if I could be with her at the bonding assessment and I told her I would ask. She wants me in the room and next to her though I don't know if that is possible. She is super scared to be alone and confronted by her aunt. She told me that she never wanted to call her aunt "mom" but that she was forced to and she wished her mom had never signed her over to her aunt. So sad.

Thanks for your patience with my emotions at the meeting today. I am sorry that I cried. I just feel sad when I see less stability starting to come back into her life. Sorry!!