Swimming in December

Well, the last two days Dad and I spent googling and looking for a local hotel that had an indoor heated pool. FInally found a couple that were pretty cheap so we decided to surprise the kids and spend a day swimming and the night watching movies and eating junk. C was super excited at the prospect as were the tots and we were off.

I was surprised how much work it was packing for just one night. I even brought the DVD player from home and rented some Blockbuster flicks to help keep the cost down. Turns out that the tv in the hotel room was not compatable with our player so we had to pay to watch a movie anyway. Darn!

So, C did ok. She has been really negative lately and I have about had it with it so gently, I have been pointing out all of the negative things she says. She doesn't get defensive as I had expected she would, but it doesn't seem to be preventing the behavior either. She is also still super attached. We invited my nieces to join us for teh afternoon swim part and she was having a pitty party because "no one wanted to play with her". Of course, I had to keep the tots safe. Aunt was busy helping me with that and also playing with the bigger kids. I guess C wanted a full on game of Marco Polo to break out and let the tots drown... She can be so generous in some ways and SO VERY selfish in others. Dad finally got there and Aunt was able to watch the littlest so we could play Marco Polo and Shark. That pleased her.

She started pouting on our way to dinner. It started over her wanting to take a trip in the hotel elevator. I was not interested in going and did not want to detour our whole party for the sake of her ride up and down... I told her she could do it later if she wanted, once we were all back and in our room. "Alone?" she asked. I said "yes" and that was all it took.

She pouted and then intentionally lagged behind. She got the idea to ride with Aunt to the resaurant to avoid me since I was clearly evil. I allowed all others to go ahead and asked her to stay back. We took a seat on the curb. I asked her what the pouting was all about. She denied it, then defended it. I told her there was no reason- I recalled the conversation and then told her that she needed to put on her happy face and she could ride with her aunt. She agreed, though announced that she hated being the big sister because she always had to set a good example. I stopped her again. I told her that I did not allow my four year old to pout and I certainly was not going to allow my 12 year old to pout. Her response was " I like being the middle sister" then she quickly corrected herself with, " No. I don't like that either." She gets in these moods and I tell you... she just is a hater.

She was upset because Aunt wanted to sit by me at dinner. She was upset that she had to order off the kid menu. She interrupted conversations and corrected me about nothing several times. She worked hard at being the center of attention, as she always does.

After the movie, C and my 3 year old were sharing a bed for the night. The three year old was pretty still but you can image that C wasn't. I asked C to stop moving around so much. She ignored me. My 3 year old flopped once more and C protested her move. I picked up my three and put her in a soft bed I quickly made on the floor out of a duvet and pillow and tucked her in, reassuring her tears and telling her that it wasn't all her fault. That both of my girls needed to learn to hold still in bed for the sake of the other. I asked her if she was comfortable and through her tears, she mumbled a "yes". I got up to find that C had rolled off the bed and onto the floor in a pout. Upset that I had told the three year old that it wasn't all her fault. I am and was done iwth the game. I promptly announced to the 3 that her big sister had decided that she could have the bed all to herself. Wasn't that nice?? I put her back on the bed adn tucked her in while telling C that the bed I had made was more comfortable than the carpet. Of course for teh next hour, C was banging on everything "accidentally" that she could, including the bed frame. I ignored it all.

This morning, C went for a last dip and then all the kids are off to Grandma's house. C announced that she had so much fun. I am sure she did. She generally does. Her behaviors are a game to her and only upsetting to us. I try not to let them bother me, but in the end, I just can't help but to think how much I have to teach her about how to treat people and to respect herself and what a short time I have to do it in. It scares me.

I did have fun. The tots had fun, too. I just would have had so much more fun without the constantly complaining, pouting, and demanding of being the center of attention. Worst part of it is, I don't really know how to bring her out of it so that we can all have fun. She doesn't even realize that it takes the fun out for us. And I am sure she looks at her behavior now and sees an angel compared to where she came from. I also see great improvements, but it doesn't mean that we don't have a long way to go.

This two week break has had many good times and fun moments. Yet, I am SO ready for school to start. Not that I don't enjoy my time as a family but she is so attached to me that I can not leave the room without "getting permission" from her and there is only so much of that one can take without a break. It makes me super nervous for the upcoming summer and makes me very aware of how much correction in behavior I need to address with her between now and then in order for us BOTH to enjoy our 3 month break.